Political Affiliation Test

Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican?
Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by your answer to the following:

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Situation: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?
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Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! -- Does the man look poor, or oppressed? -- Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? -- Could we run away? -- What does my wife think? -- What about the kids? -- Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? -- What does the law say about this situation? -- Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? -- Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? -- Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? -- Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? -- If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? -- Should I call 9-1-1? -- Why is this street so deserted? -- We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. -- This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.
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Republican's Answer:

BANG!
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Southern Republican's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

(sounds of reloading)

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?

Son: Git-r-Dun Pop! Can I shoot the next one?

Wife: You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!

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