Smile!!!

Let’s have a little chat, shall we? Are things really so bad?

There’s a snake about a foot above me that wants me for dinner.

There’s a beetle in front of me that I’d like to eat, but he’s actually too big for my mouth.

My kids are swimming around in a puddle down below.

Their father deserted us and ran off with a polywog.

Some guy’s starting to chop my tree down - -

AND You think you have problems.



Strictly for Hoosiers!
The ones in italics are me!
Bold italics even moreso.

Foxworthy On Indiana

This may help my friends understand where I come from!

A Little INDIANA Humor
Forget Rednecks, here is what Jeff Foxworthy
has to say about Hoosiers...
(I've added a few of my own)

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from
September through May, you may live in Indiana.

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you
assistance and they don't work there, you may
live in Indiana.

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same
time, you may live in Indiana.

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation
with someone who dialed a wrong number, you
may live in Indiana.

If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of
Muncie for the weekend, you may live in Indiana.

If you measure distance in hours, you may live
in Indiana.

If you know several people who have hit a
deer more than once, you may live in Indiana.

If you have totaled several cars by hitting deer,
you probably live in Indiana.

If you've hit three deer in two days with your car
you may live in Indiana

If you have switched from "heat" to "A/C" in
the same day and back again, you may live in
Indiana.

If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow
during a raging blizzard without flinching, you
may live in Indiana.

If you install security lights on your house
and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may
live in Indiana.

If you carry jumpers in your car and your
wife knows how to use them, you may live in Indiana.

If every spring oak trees from acorns stored by squirrels
sprout all over your yard like dandelions, you may live in Indiana.

If many of your neighbors have all their kids living within a few
miles and have never been farther away than the next county,
you may live in Indiana.

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to
fit over a snowsuit, you may live in Indiana.

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph
-- you're going 80 and everybody is passing you,
you may live in Indiana.

If driving is better in the winter because the
potholes are filled with snow, you may live in
Indiana.

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter,
winter, still winter and road construction, you
may live in Indiana.

If you have more miles on your snow blower
than your car, you may live in Indiana.

If your dog chases deer across a frozen lake for
exercise, you may live in Indiana.

If you find 10 degrees "a little chilly", you
may live in Indiana.

If you actually understand these jokes, and
forward them to all your Indiana friends and
others, you definitely live in Indiana